"Happiness is like a butterfly, which when pursued is just beyond your grasp
but if you will sit down quietly, may light upon you."

September 07, 2008

Opportunity Knocked On Our Door

Life at work is the usual except that I was accepted for a learning opportunity sans the compensation. I don't really mind because what I need right now is experience to back my certificates. I took the MCSE course years ago and I am a Microsoft Certified Professional since 2002. I still have to take 6 more exams out of 7 to become a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. But this is of no value on my resume if I don't have hands-on experience. So, I am elated to get this chance to work for our IT department. I do three hours a week. I got to familiarize the servers and the procedure to take data statistics on the first hour. On my second hour, I had a good workout carrying and opening old CPUs to get some RAM and build my own workstation. I really enjoyed myself which goes to show how much I missed IT work.

On another note, my son was chosen to appear on a photo to be used for the community flyers and what not. I received a permission slip and I agreed. This was taken during one of the community day camp trips.

At first I thought he did the loser sign. It's actually victory sign according to him.

September 03, 2008

Earth, Wind and Fire

Earth, Wind and Fire reminds me of September. And when I think of September, I get excited about Christmas being around the corner (actually more of blocks away). Aside from the fact that it's less than four months before Christmas day, we celebrate my parent's anniversary today.

We went to see them this morning before I headed to work. It was a quick visit just enough to kiss and greet and hand our present. We got them a digital camera, a greeting card (of course), all their photos in Canada compiled in a CD, and two movie tickets. We wanted to give them a dining gift card but we ran out of funds. hehe...

Happy Anniversary Granddy and Grandmy!

We also celebrate my niece's and sister-in-law's birthday today. My brother's daughter is turning 1 year old.

Happy Birthday Czyra Althea and Irish!

It was my aunt's birthday two days ago. She turned 49 this year and the family's gift to her is a list of 50 fun things to do before she turns 50 next year. We set up a website solely for this purpose. As she crosses out an item from the list, she will have to post a photo as proof on the website. I suggested her to take belly dance class and to shop at Value Village and buy something nice for herself for $5. Value Village is a store selling all used donated items.

She has a housekeeper who comes in twice a week and so one of us suggested that she should not hire the services of a housekeeper for a month. That means, she has to clean her house herself and scrub the tub like we do. But somehow this was deleted from the list.

Since she's flying to Philippines, we asked her to dance in front of the UP oblation in Diliman (her alma mater), sing the Pambansang Awit in front of the monument of Jose Rizal in Luneta, and climb the coconut tree in our backyard ala Hutaman. I don't know about climbing a coconut tree because I haven't done this myself but I'm sure it will be tough.

Happy Birthday Auntie Donna!

Well, you might wonder who Hutaman is and I would love to tell you who he is because I am so proud of this man. He was my grandparents helper for many, many years. He never married. He was a muslim and he converted himself to Christianity. And when he did, he was more than a Christian (or Catholic I should say) than any of us. He is the nicest guy. He was still with the family when he died.

August 27, 2008

Three Men and a Baby

My friend is expecting her second child. She's due first week of September so her sister and I planned a baby shower for her. It was a pleasant surprise because she did not expect it at all. Three days before the shower, I went to Toys R Us to buy her a gift. While I was choosing her a present, I heard a familiar voice. That voice sounded like her son's. I was right. I ran out of the store in a rush hoping they did not see me or else i'll ruin the surprise. I also brought food thinking we won't have a lot since we didn't require the guests to bring any. But when I got there, there's a table full of food.

The next day was a busy day. Axel and I left home at 2:00 pm to attend Axel's friend's birthday party at the park. They're originally from Mexico. Right after we sang the birthday song, they sang the Mexican version. It's pretty cool to hear the song in another language.

Axel with his Korean friend

We left again once Lawrence arrived from work for another birthday party. Axel and the other kids spent most of their time in the bedroom playing Wii while I watched TFC.

By 10:30 pm, we were at my aunt's place because it was my cousin's birthday. Axel was so groggy by this time.

It's not every weekend that we spend it this way so it was really nice to be around friends who we don't always see.

August 21, 2008

First Wish Fulfilled

One of my wishes has come true. I got to finally spend an 8-day vacation. We took a 16 hours drive all the way to San Francisco. We brought everything we could possibly bring. I was able to bring my accessories and laptop. If we flew, we have to travel light. That's why I love taking road trips because I can pack anything without worrying about baggage limit.

My husband placed the cooler right beside Axel so we didn't have to stop whenever we need a drink. Axel became our bartender so to speak. But after a number of requests, he said 'that would be $5'. He started charging us.

We drove 6 hours to Salem, Oregon and retired there for the night. It was our first time to stay in a Best Western hotel. It was really nice. They gave us free breakfast at Denny's which is a good deal because each breakfast platter costs $9. We were on the road at 6:30 am for a 10-hour drive straight to Sanfo with two or three gas and toilet stops. We reached the city at around 4:00 pm. We walked by the bay as soon as we dropped our luggages in the hotel. It was foggy and the wind was chilly at night.

The next day, we took the Alcatraz cruise to the island. It was interesting. I felt like I stepped into a movie scene. By Wednesday, we booked a day tour to Yosemite National Park. The day we arrived in San Francisco, I called the tour company to confirm our reservation only to be told that thay can't find my name in the list. I had to go the office twice although it was not such a hassle since it's located at the Fisherman's wharf close to our hotel. On the day of our tour, we opted to walk to the office so we can choose good seats in the motorcoach. I was so frustrated because they didn't have any system in place. We arrived there ahead of everyone but we were not the first to board. Yosemite is at an elevation of more than 6,000 feet above sea level so the road is mostly uphill. Our bus suddenly stalled during the climb because the engine overheated. It delayed the trip for about an hour. We were supposed to leave the park at 4:30 pm but we had to wait for another motorcoach which got there at 6 pm. My husband told me that this tour was full of problems from the time I called to confirm.

Thursday was Lawrence's birthday. We went to Daly City just to have lunch at Jollibee. Then we headed to San Bruno to visit his uncle. We left Sanfo on Friday and drove to Sacramento. From Sacramento, we continued the journey to South Lake Tahoe. Lawrence and Axel swam in the lake and then in the hotel's pool. The father and son had a great time.

We left the following day to Woodburn, Oregon. We made a quick stop at Reno, Nevada. The way from California to Nevada and Nevada to Oregon is not as busy as I-5 (interstate highway). There's only our car on the road most of the time and not a lot of small towns in between. It bothered me because I was afraid of unavoidable vehicle trouble that can leave us stranded in the middle of nowhere. After almost 700 kilometers, the highway led us back to I-5.

We retreated at Woodburn, Oregon for some shopping at the famous outlet stores since Oregon is a no sales tax state. The hotels are all booked. I was lucky enough to get a room but only with a king size bed (we usually get two queen beds) because someone cancelled their reservation. Immediately after I booked, another guy came in desperately looking for a place to stay. As planned, we went shopping the next day. By noon, we drove less than an hour to Vancouver, Washington to meet my good friend Vicky who I have not seen for almost two decades.

We stopped by Tulalip, Washington to have dinner at the Eagles Buffet in Tulalip Resort Casino. Then, home sweet home!

Pictures available here.

August 03, 2008

An Awakening

It's been sitting on my desk since the time I took it home sometime in February. It has collected a considerable amount of dust throughout the idle period. I read a few pages before and that was it — it just slipped my mind.

A couple of days ago, I flipped the pages back to the introduction and started reading it and this time determined to finish it. It never occurred to me that page forty-eight will actually be my awakening. I thought it's but another book.

"I'd come to have all the symptoms of a major depression — loss of sleep, appetite and libido, uncontrollable weeping, chronic backaches and stomachaches, alienation and despair..."

I recall I had several episodes of backaches and stomachaches accompanied by loss of sleep and appetite, alienation and uncontrollable weeping during that critical time in my life. Yes, I had depression and I admit it now. It's either I did not realize it at that time or I was scared to face the truth.

Part of me knows the reason and the other part has left me clueless until today.

It happened when my grandfather was admitted into intensive care unit. Nobody knew he was going to make it and so all his children here and from other parts of the world reunited thinking that it might be the last time they'll see their father breathing. There were lunch and dinner gatherings almost everyday and I refused to go. I wanted to be by myself. I cannot explain it with a clear understanding. All I know is that I did not want to mingle and to be around anyone except my husband and my son. I apologize to my parents for alienating myself from them too.

I would confine myself in a corner and weep like there's no tomorrow. I threatened to kill myself but I knew in my heart that I am not capable of killing myself. My fear in God remained and so I knew I was still in control.

I am grateful that my parents and husband and even my son tried to save me. When they felt helpless themselves, they asked my aunt to intervene. I knew she sincerely wanted to help me but it pissed me off when I heard her say I have depression. She offered to take me to the doctor. There's no way I will allow myself to be medicated for depression. I told her over and over again — I am not depressed.

"we don't know the long-term effects of antidepressants on the human brain; it's a crime that even children are on antidepressants these days; we are treating the symptoms and not the causes of a national mental health emergency..."

July 25, 2008

A Good Day

My dad took Axel to watch a movie this afternoon. He fetched Axel from camp today since he's not working. I saw an opportune time to get a haircut. My hair is starting to look unhealthy so it's due to get some TLC.

I watched the news while I was sitting getting my hair trimmed. On the screen popped Qantas plane with a huge hole on the aircraft. The plane took an emergency landing in Manila, Philippines. Holy smokes! Not only is it expensive to fly nowadays because of the fuel price hike, it's scary too.

Dad and Axel watched Wall-E. I know my dad loves action flicks and he even dislikes drama but because of his grandson, he watched an animated film. He bought a bucket of popcorn and Axel ate all of it. My son had a great bonding time with his granddy.

And since it's Friday, we're having pizza!

July 18, 2008

You'll Always Be My Baby

Every now and then we hear on the news about missing children or children abused by pedophile. As a mother, I get paranoid. When Axel went missing in the mall, I bawled because I started imagining the worst scenarios. I never take my eyes off him every time I take him to the park. I tried to read a book while he's playing but I couldn't keep my attention to what I was reading. That's why we seldom go.

I still regard him as my baby since he is my only child. I always see to it that my husband is free when I schedule his swimming lessons because somebody has to accompany him to the change room and assist him. I did this before when he was still under 6 and he could still go to the girls change room but not anymore this time.

I registered Axel for the summer day camps. It's his first. He loves it. They have outdoor activities twice a week. They went to Granville Island waterpark last Tuesday. This is his first time to go to a waterpark all by himself sans the overprotective mother. I packed up the things he needed the night before with many instructions of course. I instructed him to put his wet clothes in the spare plastic bag. I reminded him to use the sunscreen lotion — he is already toasted. I showed him his change clothes, lunchbox and water bottle in the bag so he knows exactly where to find it. And my most important instruction is to stay with the group and facilitators at all times and never ever go somewhere alone. He must have heard this from me a zillion times that he would reply, 'I knew you're going to say that'.

The facilitator told them that they can bring a dollar or two or 5 dollars, tops. I gave him 2 dollars and he complained. So, I gave him 5. His dad commented, 'wow Axel mas marami ka pang pera kay daddy' (wow Axel you have more money than daddy). He spent it on video games and a box of candy. All I got back was a quarter. He's a big spender.

He did everything he was told to do. My goodness, my baby is growing fast!

July 10, 2008

Wishing Upon A Star

What do I want? What do I need? I think it's about time to make a list.

1. Half of the year has passed which means I worked approximately 900 hours for the last six months. I need to work but my body also needs to rest. I need a vacation in other words. It doesn't matter where it is. It doesn't matter where a little money can take me as long as I can sleep late, wake up late and relax all day without worrying about house chores.

2. Speaking of relaxation, it would be eternal bliss to spend at least a day in the spa.

3. We are currently just renting. To get our own place is part of our plans. However, we are still uncertain when this plan is going to materialize. With the rising real estate prices, this is becoming a dream difficult to achieve. We are not in a rush anyway but we certainly do not want to be renters for another five years.

4. One of the reasons why I am so reluctant to become a mortgage slave is my unsecured employment status. I have to find a stable job. I prefer not to elaborate. I'll put it this way — some things are not in our control. For curiosity sake, I do like my job.

5. I am a "ningas cogon" in some aspect. I sometimes start a project and not finish it because I lose interest after a short while. I should work on my driver's license. I set this aside many times in the past. I always have my excuse — not working, living in central location, cannot afford a second car and another insurance, walking distance to work.

6. I would need a car once I get my DL.

7. My husband and I didn't go through the traditional proposal. He gave me a promise ring when he was still studying and we got married two or three years after. I can't even remember. I just know it was my birthday. I didn't get that diamond engagement ring that every girl wishes for. Nevertheless, I am not bitter. It's just a symbol. Now that we are married for 8 years, I kid him about it. So, he desperately wants to buy me one but I tell him that a diamond ring can wait and we have other important stuff to spend on. I already waited 8 years. I am in no hurry.

8. When I went to Bicol to attend a wedding with my officemates, I made sure that we visit some of the tourist spots. We did and we took lots of pictures. Unfortunately, the film was not properly installed. No digital cameras yet at that time. I didn't want to go home empty-handed so I dragged my officemates back to the places we went to take pictures again. I guess you've figured that I love taking pictures. I want to own a digital SLR camera although my current one is still good.

9. My ultimate wish is for my family (including my dad, mom, brother and his family) and I to remain in the pink of health.

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I want to thank Jo for this tag. If you want to do this, add the digits of your birth day. For instance, if your birthday falls on the 30th of whatever month, add 3 and 0. Whatever is the sum, write a list of your wishes. Using the example, you write 3 wishes. Then add your name and birthday to the Bloggers Birthday Directory with the link to your blog.

BLOGGERS BIRTHDAY DIRECTORY
February 20 - Caryl | February 23 - Jammy | March 7 - Mari | May 3 - Vannie | May 8 - joanjoyce | May 27 - Zang Caesar | September 30 - Mckhoii | October 22 - MommyBa | December 18 - JoshuaOngYS | December 19 - Alpha | December 20 - Suzanne | March 18 - Rowena | June 26 - Gina | July 24 - Jo | March 27 - Evi | YOUR BIRTHDAY HERE

July 01, 2008

At His Best

You can tell a kid has the talent because it does not take a lot of effort for the child to learn. Two of Axel's piano classmates have that natural skill. Axel is good at playing the piano but he has to hone it. I don't mind and I am happy that he is progressing to become his best. His teacher commented during his practical exam that he has good hearing skills and finger coordination.

They had their second group recital to celebrate the end of the school year. Their class played If You Are Happy. The next program is their first solo recital. Only five out of 12 students in Axel's class were chosen to perform. As you can tell, I was super excited and nervous at the same time. I had stage fright when I was his age but he was composed and relaxed. There was this little girl who came up the stage and her legs were wobbling. The audience thought she was just acting funny. However, she started crying as soon as she sat. I can't blame her. I will freak out myself. She still played her piece with her classmate beside her for support. That was sweet.

As a reward, we promised that we'll get him a Wii after his recital. We held off buying a Wii even during its hoopla so to keep him motivated. As of this writing, the father and son are playing tennis.

The little girl beside Axel is Malaysian. Her mother said, 'Axel is so handsome. Reserve him for my daughter'. So cute. I actually like her because she's a good girl.